The Young Witch Tries to Adjust Her Norms

At least I'm trying. So hard. So desperately hard. Lord, please let this end. Please.

As you can see, I'm handling quarantine extremely well. So well. So very, very well. Yep. I'm fine. I was definitely already crazy before this (I have it from both sides that crazy is normal is the family). This definitely isn't helping to further my descent into madness.

Yeah, this going about as well a family who just had politics brought up at dinnertime. Someone save me from myself.

Being trapped inside your apartment for days on end is not the greatest thing for someone who needs a schedule to remember when to things, like when to go outside, when to exercise, when to eat, when to take your meds...proud moment, I remembered to take my meds today.

Which has led to me trying to create some new sense of normal in my life. Normal is hard however when you have become accustomed to sleeping in late, ignoring your alarms and avoid contact with the outside world except to go your mail from the mail box, only to be disappointed that there is no mail and have to walk to short walk back to your apartment empty handed.

Yes, that's probably more a me issue, but the mail sparks joy. Shush.

So, what's a girl who needs a schedule and someone to tell her to actually do her work to do? Make many versions of the same schedule in notebooks, computers, alarms, Duolingo reminders and buy a new app that forces her to eat at certain times while reminding her to be careful of portions (I bought the Noom weight loss program app. It's nice).

If this all seems crazy to you, I know. I'm crazy. Madness is my method...or there's a method to the madness. I've heard it both ways.

I'm one of those people who needs to be doing things. I need extreme amounts of things to keep myself occupied and from losing my mind more than the last 23 years of my life have lost it. When you are someone who lives with mental illness, schedules are really important. When the world was "normal," I set my schedule for the week, by setting Sunday as the beginning of everything: food was bought, made and prepared. Every other Tuesday was my church small group. Saturday was my fun free day of belly dance and adventure. I no longer have that structure with Shelter in Place.

California was one of the first states to issue it and the Bay Area was one of the first individual areas to do it because of the number of cases popping up. I've been on lockdown since March 13th when Ms. Duran announced to the class that school would be out for the month, which turned into the district will have no in-person classes for the rest of the semester.

So it's been a month for me since this all started to create my new norm, and so far it's been successful. I work from 9-1 on weekdays for my remote City Year work. I have breakfast at 9 (with my pill), lunch at noon, dinner at 6. I do a yoga video around 2 and then go for a walk outside (thanks Noom for forcing me to exercise), then try to learn new skills, watch movies, read and, on occasion, clean around the house, with Saturday mornings at 7:45 a.m. reserved

for going to Target, getting in line to go into Target and buying what I need grocery wise from Target (Target now has my allegiance. Thank you, Target).

Why am I saying all this? Because we all are trying to create our new norms. We are all trying to work out how to live in this time.

Now my new norm, is not your new norm. My norm is meant to keep me busy and distracted and not to think about the awful, terrible things happening in the world and in my brain, and my circumstance are probably different than your circumstances. Your new norm has to be designed for you in mind. What do you need to take care of yourself in this time? What's your work situation? Where are you staying and who are you with? This is all stuff to factor into finding the new norm, and what ever that norm is, I pray that the norm ends soon, so we can get back to our normal normal. It is my will, so mote it be.

Also.......

You can take the girl out of STL, but can't take the STL out of the girl

Happy (belated) Easter from me and my new best friend!