The Young Witch Speaks on Names

I actually have quite a few. I have Juedi (because my friends are weird), Yuki (because I was a weeb in high school), my preferred name, Ariel and my actual legal name, that only my family (blood and chosen) call me, Aerin.

Now I don't have a problem with my birth name. I loved it when I was younger, and I do love it now. But I'm also a very different person now from when I went by that. I've also encountered a million and 10 people with my name (a good portion I'm friends with). I even debated before I moved to California if I should by Aerin, because it seemed like a chance to reinvent myself.

California ended up choosing for me in the form of a guy named Paul (honestly, I loved he said it, the moment he said, and didn't mind it all). Suddenly after three weeks of living in a new place, I became Ariel and I have been all the happier since, because there was freedom to being Ariel. So much so that I changed all the names on all my social media profiles to it, started telling my friends not in my program in Cali to call me it, and just owned it. And I still do, to the point it's how I submitted my work applications, it's on all my orders and packages and I rarely introduce myself as anything other than that.

Why am I telling you all this?

Because someone called me Aerin this weekend. Someone who should not have known that name. Someone who has probably heard me called Ariel by everyone around them. Someone who I don't particularly feel comfortable with using Aerin.

And I don't know why they did it. That's the most frustrating part. Because I don't see how they should have known it accept maybe hearing it in passing or seeing it on a paper.

And I can only imagine how others must feeling hearing their old names. Their deadnames.

Now for those who don't know, a "deadname"is a person's birth name with which they don't identify anymore. This could be for various reasons. Someone who is trans individual may choose a different name to suit their new gender identity or because their deadname causes gender dysphoria. Other people may change their name due to trauma from that previous name. Some just don't like their name at all or don't feel a connection with it, and choose a new one.

For me, Aerin isn't a deadname. I may prefer Ariel over it for extremely personal reasons that I have only chosen to discuss in very broad terms with very, very few people, but I still go by Aerin within my family. It's a personal name for those I'm closest to.

But for others, it can be a trigger. It can be a horrible reminder of a past they are trying to forget and lose. It can be something that creates a reminder of pain. It can be a reminder of someone they never were, but were forced to be.

No one should ever have to deal with the kind of pain.

Not now. Not ever.

I didn't call the person who said the name out. I was too confused. Maybe I should have said something, but I didn't know how. They did only seem to say it once. Maybe I imagined it. Maybe I'm just trying to make excuses. But when we see this behavior, we should call out. Especially in times like these, with anti-LGBTQ+ attitudes on the rise, especially when look at recent events with our leaders.

So let's all work to be better.